Unconditional Love…Is it healthy?
Unconditional love is synonymous with selfless love and acceptance of the other person. It implies that no matter what happens, you will never leave the relationship. A bond that can never be broken. Not only is this unrealistic, but it’s a set up for toxic relationships or even abuse. Without conditions or expectations, it follows that tolerating toxic behavior is required to achieve the ideal of unconditional love.
Healthy romantic love requires effort and commitment that grows from connection in which there is mutual respect and the desire to please the other person. In a healthy relationship, love must be conditional to be healthy as without conditions, toxicity grows.
When it comes to a parent’s love for their child, love should be without conditions. A child should never be required to feel the need to earn a parent’s love. Toxicity grows when children feel that they are not accepted for their uniqueness and have to struggle to win the approval of caregivers.
Remember - just because someone tells you that they love you doesn’t make it ok under any circumstances to mistreat you. It is also important to understand that loving someone doesn’t require that you place yourself in an inseparable bond with them.
Love isn’t about permanence or acceptance of toxic behavior and emotional pain.
